Ten Days to Thirty Five and Counting

So in ten days I will be hitting a pinnacle in my life. I will be turning thirty-five years old. I know most people would say thirty-five is the new twenty-five but having almost all my childhood girlfriends either married or in serious relationships is a bit daunting and unnerving. While I am confident in my professional life as well as my position as a mother to my daughter, Guinevere, when it comes to romance and really being in love I feel completely inept.


According to all the statistics I have a better chance of getting hit by a 474 while in an underground parking garage then I do at finding my soul mate at this point. Just doesn't seem to make sense for me to waste my time dating, getting anxious, nervous and potentially upset over a bunch of men, most of which are dating like two too three other women or are just looking for a good time. I just feel like my time and my life are worth more then that. 

I have fished from Tokyo to London to New York to LA for a soulmate. Could it just be that I am like that sock you find in the dryer, that I have no match?

I have talked to, dated, befriended etc etc, men from all walks of life. Different ethnicities, economic and religious backgrounds, different cultures spanning from many different parts of the world. People tell me when a man falls in love with a woman, when it's right: She takes his breath away, he doesn't have eyes for any one else, all he wants to do is be with her and he will go to great lengths to make her his own. To my knowledge I have never elicited that type of response from any man. To be honest at this point because of what I know and because of all my male friends, if it's not that the case I don't want to be bothered.

Part of it is the way my parents and grandparents met as well as my Aunts and Uncles:

My grandfather Angelo, met my grandmother Rachel at a USO dance in Louisiana. He knew her three days and they were married. The seven-teen year old blond haired, blued eyed Irish lassy trusted this man she knew for less then a week that the letter he gave her written in Italian would be met with open arms and that his two sisters would take her in upon her arrival in Jersey City. He trusted her with his entire pay check, that she would buy a ticket and be waiting for him when he got out of the Marines. The spent 40+ years happily married before he passed.

My Uncle Jan went AWOL from his Naval base to get the address of Linda, a waitress at a local diner that always cut him an extra big slice of pie when ever he came in. They wrote each other every day and when he got out of the service a few years later she married him and moved to New Jersey from Wisconsin. They are still married, two children, two grand children and still very much in love.

My Father Al was sitting at a bar in Hoboken with his girlfriend, when Lyn got up on stage and started to sing. Al turned to his girlfriend of two years and said I am sorry but that is my wife singing on stage. He had never even spoken to Lyn but he knew she was the one. After his friends removed his very angry now ex girlfriend from the bar and Lyn's set was over he approached her and gave her his phone number. She didn't call. He went back to that same bar for almost two months looking for her. She was so embarrassed about having thrown away his number she agreed to a date. They spent every night going out and after one week he said to her I hope you don't find this odd but I want to marry you. Six months later she had a ring, and one year later they were married. Three children and one grandchild later they are still married and both with tell you that the other is their best friend.

My Uncle Don met a lovely nurse while in the hospital named Karen. Every day when she would do her rounds he would ask her for a date and she would reply, "I am sorry I can not date patients." The day he checked out of the hospital he bought a dozen roses and returned to speak to Karen. Don said " I am no longer a patient would you please accept my offer of a date now?" Karen took care of Don and Don took care of Karen in love and in sickness as well as health. They were married for over 30 years until he passed last year from cancer.

People tell me these types of things don't happen any more. My family is filled with stories such as these. I have heard many times from the women in my life "They just don't make men like that any more" If that is truly the case then I will never be in a committed relationship because I won't settle for anything less then a great love story. The greatest of my life in fact. 

I have to admit I want a guy just like my father and grandfather. My Dad is an amazing man professionally as well as personally. Some of the things he has had to over come in his life were not easy but his father was the same way. My Grandfather with only an 8th grade education, having his two sisters raise him most of his life he became a union leader at a time when unions were imperative. On the day of  his death my grandfather was painting the interior of their home, an apartment in Jersey City as a surprise for my grandmother. He had sent her on a trip to see her sister for her birthday and wanted give her a newly painted house upon her return. He also sent Dad to the Jersey Shore with us, his grandchildren. My father had come to help him with painting but we looked bored and it was a hot Summer day. So my grandfather took some money out of his wallet and ordered my dad to take us to the board walk. His family was everything to him and his wife was the queen of his kingdom. 

Many times my father has come to my aid as well as other family members to ensure that we have a happy and comfortable life. He is passionate about fighting for people's rights specifically people who do not have a voice of their own. Him and my mom instilled in my brother, sister and I the ethics that you leave this earth better then how you found it. Even if it is only in raising your children well or being a good spouse and friend to your partner. While neither my father or my grandfather's ever had an M.B.A. or a Master's Degree or even a college diploma, they educated themselves on politics and world events and were all active in their local communities. My grandfathers knew multiple languages and they were earnest men who worked to provide for their families and took pride in what they did. 

I am hard pressed to find men that are of this caliber. When I have had that rare chance it seems that I am not the one captivating them. 

I would have to say if it weren't for some of the guys that I have had so many good experiences with as my friends and confidants I would have seriously given up a long time ago. I just think I need to not focus on it right now. I have so many other worth wild things I can be doing with my time. I am relearning French( I took it in high school) I also have an Italian program I will be working with once I feel confident on French again. Plus I have a couple of websites to build. One for my brother's business and one that is my own concept. I want to offer information and training online for people to learn about developmental disabilities. How to interact with people who have them and not fear them. My hope is that through education, society will begin to accept people with developmental issues as productive members and stop alienating them by placing them in group homes. A lot of people who have developmental issues can be productive members of society. At a time when people have complained that there is no one but illegal immigrants to fill jobs that "no one wants" I know differently. Some one with developmental issues could do the same tasks and our society over all would benefit from it. The only way to facilitate that is through educating people. I specifically want to gear it toward teenagers; the next generation of people who will be the future business owners of America. I am hoping it will make a difference. All of that plus my blog is a solid well rounded life as far as I can tell.

Love Save The Empty 

I have been looking for the exception not the rule
Please leave behind games I am not a fool
Where is the real prince charming?
Where is my knight on the shining white horse?
Momma didn't tell me what to do when he didn't show
Can someone tell me when I have no lover, where do I go?
Life didn't let me be the princess waiting for my sweet rescue
Life made my heart hard inside now what do I do?
I have been seeking to be the exception not the rule
I have left behind the games I will not be fooled
Where is the king come to save his queen?
Where is the champion to offer deliverance that is in need?
If a man wants a woman he makes it so
No one taught me what happens when he doesn't show
Love has not come to save me but life must go on
I will draw my own maps and write my own love song
I will decide my future and walk the line
I will leave him a trail and paint him a sign;
"I waited for you but you did not arrive. I have moved on to live life while I am still alive. I dare you to try and catch me if you can, but I warn you I realized I do not need a man."