While every one is focusing on the newest way that kids seem to be getting high I want to pose a question to parents. Why is life in the US so hard for teens that they feel an intense need for escapism? Or is it a learned behavior from addicted parents?
We spend all this time making sure they are well rounded - dance, soccer, girl and boy scouts. Pressuring them to get good grades to go to a good college. It's living the American dream, working extra hours for the new big screen TV or the vacation we can barely afford. So focused on the new cast of which ever Housewives is on TV.
Yes, I will get on my soap box today because ever since I have been a teen I know the exact answer to why young people do drugs. And the simple answer is that parents are not involved in their children's lives or too involved to allow their child to live life.
I would say to all parents love your child and let them be who they are meant to be. Gay, straight, bisexual or transgendered. Let them express themselves in dress whether they are a punk rocker, nerd, skater, jock or what ever other label they want to be or none at all.
Most importantly: LOVE THEM WITH OUT CONDITION. Love them with out your own set of morals and precepts and ideas you have for them. God created them as an individual and he gave them life and free will. Guide them, teach them, befriend them and pay attention to their wants and needs but stop placing your ideas and values of who they should be upon them. They are not you nor do they ever need to be like you. They need to make their own mistakes to grow as a human being.
I have an amazing child and I say that not being cocky because it has really taken a village thus far to raise her. She gets guidance and love from many sources. But one of the small things I do know is that the strength and honesty of our relationship will lessen her risk for self diminishing behaviors as she moves through difficult phases of life, especially her teenage years. Let's face it teen use, drugs, alcohol, sex and other vices just like their parents to pacify the lack of love and acceptance they feel from the people who are suppose to be there to support and comfort them during times of need.
During my years of being a youth minister and even after I dealt with so many teens who struggle with depression. 99% of it was in direct correlation with their relationship with their parents.
Change is never easy and during the teenage years when the human body starts it's transformation from childhood to adult hood there is a disconnect in the parent/child relationship over all. That is when parents need to be better involved. I use that term, better because it does not mean more or less it means gracious and patient. Two terms most parents are not accustomed to using with their children.
This is when parents have the most impact and effect on how a young person can and will relate to the world through out their adult life. They are developing not only emotionally and physically but this is when their moral compass and their ability to relate to others is also being grounded. These aspects of who we are as humans are at the fore front of this phase of life. Parents play a key role for most people in what kind of person they will become and their place in the world. It is a tough journey of knowing when to step in and when to step back. Almost like a dance and the years of prior practice with your dance partner will make a world of difference.
This is my opinion and I would love to hear if people agree with me or if others have a different point of view please respond either in posting or message. Thanks and God Bless ~.o xoxo
