Calling All Kindness: Prince Charming Really Does Exist

Our tale my friends begins on a common Autumn day just like any other. A young, pregnant woman was on her way to interview yet another pediatrician. This one was referred to her by a friend, her Doula Laura. She trusted Laura's advice and was hoping that this the eighth interview she was doing would be her last in her search for the best care provider for her baby. She was nervous because it seemed that every doctor she had come in contact with lately had problems surrounding them. Her OB/GYN lost her malpractice insurance and six months into her pregnancy she had to changes doctors after twelve years. This alone devastated her. Even more up setting was that the Neonatal Specialist she was referred to had thrown her birthing plan back at her and told her to go find a midwife. All of the pediatricians she had interviewed all ready had been cold or distant as well as insensitive in one way or another.
All of this swirled around her mind along with the hopes that this would be the doctor for her daughter. Having twenty years in practice and coming recommended from Laura, he had to be, "the one."
Her trip started out just fine but then she started having contraction while driving. She had been really worried about her water breaking in the car and being alone when the baby came. She knew it was too early for delivery and between her contractions and thoughts some where she took a wrong turn and got lost. She quickly began calling every one she knew on her cell phone to see if they could give her directions. After calling her brother, her best friend, her mom all of which knew the area well, it dawned on her to call the doctor's office. By this point she was very panicked and scared. While panic attacks were nothing new to her, being alone, driving and having false labor added to the stress of the situation.
Upon calling the doctor's office to explain the situation and apologize for being late too meet with the doctor the office assistant who answered the phone told her that some one on staff could help guide her to the office. A young man came on the line and asked her to describe her surroundings. He must have heard the panic in her voice because he calmly reassured her that he would stay on the phone with her until she knew where she was and was confident that she could find the office. There was a sense of strength in his voice as he guided her. She quickly calmed down and her panic as well as her contractions soon subsided. While she has no proof she knows in her heart that this man had saved her as well as her baby from a potentially tragic and life threatening situation. She knew before even walking into the office that there was something special about the young man on the phone.
Upon her arrival she asked the front desk nurse who the nice young man on the phone was so that she could thank him. "Oh, that is Dr. Fisch, he is new here, since you are late you will have to wait for Dr. Bacha, would you like to talk to Dr. Fisch while you are waiting?" she replied.
That is when I met one of the most amazing and impressive men I have had the pleasure of knowing thus far in my life. On that day we spent about two hours talking about everything from his education to parenting styles to our backgrounds. Since then he is an avid partner in helping me raise my daughter Guinevere. I often feel guilty because sometimes during our office visits when she is healthy I feel like our bond becomes the main focus of the visit rather then her. Quite often our conversations start out with Guine and move on to our commons views parenting as well as other arenas of our lives.
He has always made sure to keep his professional distance to some degree but he has never abandoned me when I have reached out to him for emotional support or advice. While I am so lucky to have him as her pediatrician a small part of me wishes we had met under different circumstances. He is one of those people you can talk to for hours and never get bored or discontented. He is genuine in his care and concern for others.  Internally he is such a beautiful and loving person and externally he is strikingly handsome.

Upon meeting him I realized that Prince Charming doesn't just exist in fairy tales and Disney movies, well at least for me.

Letters to the Doctor

About seven years ago I met Doctor Scott D. Fisch. Despite the fact that he was fresh out of medical school I chose him as my daughter's pediatrician. This was mostly due to the fact that he and I bonded even before we met face to face. He quickly became my confidant and friend not just in raising my daughter but for other arenas in my life as well. We exchange emails between Guinevere's visits, mostly when I need sage advice from some one who is not a main character in my life. Scott and I have always been candid with one another. However, now more so then ever I have started to open up to him about some of my more intimate thoughts and emotions.This was my most recent retort in our correspondence as I have been finding comfort in him while revitalizing my dating agenda:

"I made a poignant decision. I stopped dating to find a soul mate. I stopped looking at people and their profiles in the manner of; would this person be a good father or life partner. I decided that for all I do as a mom for Guine, I deserve to live this one aspect of my life for me. Once I did that, dating started to become fun again. It has actually been a very reaffirming situation as of late. So many of my ex boyfriends have been in touch with me because they want to reconnect.
The problem with men wanting sex right off the bat is simple. Because of my past I use to have a hard time with sex. I had issues with control and feelings of being used. During my teen years I turned to B.D.S.M. and quickly took on a dominant role for the control aspect of it. Guys loved it because it was different and kinky. It allowed me to avoid my discomfort with sex and intimacy. As I began to work through some of my issues with sex in adulthood and became part of loving relationships I began to love regular sex within the confines of said relationships. With out emotion behind it, sex for me is a no go. It is merely going through a primal mating ritual unless there is love behind the act and I am so above that. I would rather masturbate then then to subject myself to it. I know a lot of women are different. They are careless with their bodies. I am at a point in my life where I would feel more comfortable and am looking forward to being able to give up complete control to my partner in the bedroom. But trust, patience, time and friendship all have to be established prior to that. While sex should never be the main focus in any relationship I have to admit I do love it. Finding a partner that I can connect with mentally and emotionally is just as important to me as the physical part of it. I know it should all be there but from my own life experiences specifically with men, quite often they are dissatisfied with that aspect of their relationships. It is why we have a multimillion dollar porn industry in this nation. Unfortunately I usually end up suffering within my relationships because I tend to like extremely intelligent men who have little to no experience in this area. While all the other guys were out hitting on women they were hitting the books. When intelligent men lack knowledge in a certain area they tend to shy away from the topic all together.
Most of the time I wear a very good Samantha face (Sex in the City) with my girlfriends aka women's empowerment: Find him, fondle him, fuck him, forget him! In my heart I am so Charlotte. I want my great love story more then anything in the world. I haven't given up yet, nor do I intend on doing so. When I think about my life, my freedom and if I had to pay to keep it I think: what would it be worth to me? I would never give it up for any one who wasn't a truly amazing person. Some one who inspired me and cared for me with out me having to ask. 
When you make a commitment to love another person for the rest of your life it takes away that single life you had, it takes away that freedom because you agree to becoming part of a unit. It is a partnership that encompasses every aspect of your life. At least from my prospective.
In my prior dating relationships I have settled into commitment for less then I expected out of fear of being alone. Part of it I think is that every one ingrains in your mind as a child, "You will understand some day when you are married." You never hear your parents or relatives say, "Ok now if you don't end up getting married this is a good plan." I had no plan. 
I made a decision this year that when Guinevere turns eighteen in 2021, I am getting rid of all my home goods and traveling for the rest of my life. I will come home once a year during the holidays but I will be spending my days like Uncle Matt from Fraggle Rock. Sending postcards and well wishes from all the ends of the earth to my loved ones. This is barring the fact that I have not met my bashert. I think that finding a new dream allowed me to let go of the other. I think now more so then ever while it is still a dream of mine it is not some distant uncontrollable destiny I need to cling to. I have a plan, a course of action and my interpersonal relationships with men are merely entertainment until the right person presents himself if ever it should happen."

After A While
   ©1971 Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes aheadwith the grace of woman, not the grief of a child And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.  

And you learn that you really can endure, you really are strong you, really do have worth And you learn and, you learn with every goodbye, you learn...