Shutting God's Doors To Open New Windows

This year has been a pinnacle for me. I started a new business. I ventured out on my own past working for other people and I have started to build my own dreams. Professionally it's been a maelstrom of learning and doing and a lot of fun but also a lot of stress.

Personally a lot of changes have gone on. I feel less attached to my former life and self then I ever have. But I know that if I want to be successful I need to engage more in my adult lifestyle and less in the vanilla aspects of life. This precludes time spent with Guinevere. There is always time for her.

I have been able to gain closure to two very important past relationships in my life. The first was with my high school sweet heart. Despite my young teenage dreams of him being the man I would spend the rest of my life with I have had to succumb to the reality that he just isn't interest in me romantically speaking. I am not an easy bite to swallow for most men. I understand that.

I am glad in many ways that I was able to put that 22 year crush to rest. Then recently my daughter's father asked me to marry him. It was a ring that 10 years ago I dremt of. Now it was just a long hard conversation but much needed conclusion to my relationship with him. We will remain friends for a life time but so far as romance goes it has been put to rest that we are no longer compatible.

This has given way to new suitors and new life in my heart. I am happy and peaceful now that life is proceeding as it should. I often wonder about the coincidences of life. Are they just coincidences or is there some grand design to how things happen?

I am still in debate about my conjecture on it all. But I am happy. Poorer then I would like to be financially, richer in love and friendship. Excited to see what the future holds. Most importantly elated at how I am living life right now: On my terms, being who I want to be and free as the wind in the willows.