On Thursday evening I went to preview a new B Horror film my friend Bill Zebub wrote and produced. His film was funny, poignant and enlightening in between the massive quantity of pretty young girls being molested and killed by Jesus's enchanted corpse. While most might find a film like this odd and distasteful at first glance, for people such as myself who question religion as well as the legitimacy of biblical text and, who also have a passion for horror films, I found it to be genius. Bill uses sex, gore and humor to keep the audience's attention while educating and enlightening people about history as well as religion. At the core of the film there was a theme that women are superior to men in thought and ability. The film is a conundrum for any unintelligent viewer. But it was obvious to me that Bill has found a way to bring positive messages to the masses by using venues and themes that they are attracted to and comfortable with. I am extremely impressed with his work and look forward to the release of Zombie Christ in October of this year.
I had hoped for some one new to my life to join me specifically because he is Catholic as well as a Horror film fan. My conversations with him regarding my reasons for wanting him to go with me inspired this blog. I decided to piece together some of my thoughts and writings in regards to my own spiritual beliefs which are far from main stream.
I was raised Catholic but I have studied most major religions: Judaism, Buddhism, Wicca, Hinduism as well as a several of the mythologies; Roman, Norse, Greek, Mayan. I also found out recently that I am Jewish by birth on my mother's side, her family lost their religion in the Holocaust. She was raise Protestant and converted to Catholicism after marrying my father who was raised Catholic.
When I was young I wanted to become a Catholic Priest. I loved going to church on Sunday with my Nanny (father's mother). When I got older I did a lot of Catholic Ministry in my local area. I was allowed by the chaplain at my high school to proclaim the Gospel at one of our masses on a retreat. He confided in me that he thought I would have made a great priest. He also told me that many women had been priests as well as bishops and cardinals during the black plague. I asked why there was no record of them and why the church no longer allowed women to be ordained. He stated that during World War II the Catholic church didn't step in and stop the persecution of the Jews because they made an agreement with Hitler. All of the books that were burned and had been considered sacrilegious weren't all Jewish text. That a lot of the books were the records and accounts of the brave women who gave last rights to dying people all over Europe at a time when men feared being part of the church. Despite my sadness over what he told me I stayed with the church for another two years.
I went on another retreat that was a new concept for the church. It was a college retreat where part of the time we could ask questions about our faith because the church felt that people strayed away from the church at that age due to skepticism. The three priests who were running the retreat boldly boasted that between them they had over 100 years of priestly knowledge.
My first question to them was, " Why aren't women allowed to become priests?" Their reply was, " Because Jesus chose 12 male apostles." They went on to say, " But women can become nuns."
I then asked,"What are the main differences between a nun and a priest?" They replied,"A Priest can hear confessions and do last rights, they can prepare the body and blood of Christ and they can preach the Gospel according to God."
I then asked, " When Jesus walked his last walk on the cross who did he speak to?" Before they could answer, " I said according to our own Bible as well as stations of the cross; Jesus met his mother, Mary and Veronica who wiped his face on his last walk and they were the last people to hear his words, were they not?" "Yes," they agreed with me.
I then asked," And who was it that was sent to prepared Jesus's body for burial and proclaimed that Christ was God and he had risen?" Again before they could answer I stated, " Was it not Mary Magdalene and in some references include the "other Mary" who were sent to prepare the body of Christ and proclaimed the first Christian gospel that Christ had risen?"
I said,"So God chose two women to hear Jesus's last confession, God chose two women to prepare the body of our Lord and he chose two women to proclaim the first Gospel that Christ was in fact our Savior?"
They then asked me," Why did Jesus only choose male disciples?" I said," Because humanity was not fair to women at that time. They were not taught to read and write but men were. In order for the church to survive Jesus knew there needed to be messengers that could read and write. Why hasn't the church recognized women as society has progressed? More importantly why can a 19 year old uneducated woman see God's message so clearly when three priests with over 100 years of religious knowledge can not?"
And with that, question and answer session was over and so was my faith in the church. I love God with all my heart. I think Christ is an amazing holy figure. I also think that people like Mother Theresa are a sign of holy inspiration. But I am sad and disappointed in the concept of religion as a whole. I have not found one that suits me completely.
In my searches and studies I have also looked at the debate regarding science verses religion. My questions to those ends are: What if neither is completely wrong or right? What if they are not in juxtaposition to one another but actually confirm and compliment one another?
Judea-Christian beliefs say that God created man in his own image. Technically that Satan was an adversary who lead Adam, Eve and from certain accounts Lilith out of the proverbial Garden of Eden by eating fruit from the tree of knowledge.
What if God was a race from another planet; the leader of a project to find out their origin. What if Satan and the 1/3 of Angels thrown from this concept of Heaven were merely scientists who wanted to give humans knowledge they felt would give them an advantage during this project?
If ignorance is bliss this concept would hold true. Especially if you read the current versions of biblical stories.
As for Satan and his 1/3 of followers. It is then stated by Judea-Christian Biblical account that they spent 1,000 years upon the earth before God created "hell" and cast them into it. It was during this phase of human existence that mythologies became rampant. Several religions having similar and the same "Gods" came from all ends of the earth. Mayans, Romans, Greeks, Egyptian, Norwegian and Asian cultures which had no ways of communicating with one another all managed to come up with religious mythologies that mirror one another. Are we so simple to believe that this was a mere act of coincidence? What if indeed their beliefs were based on these greater beings who assisted God that had been cast aside? Beings that probably had knowledge of genetics, chemistry and other sciences. Beings that had no sense of obligation to order. Why is it so hard to believe that they might have used that knowledge to make animals that would not be seen anywhere else in history? Or super humans with powers unattainable by most during that period in history? Or to create land marks using advanced concepts of engineering and design that would out last the test of time as well as natural disasters?
It is then so hard to believe that in order to maintain the integrity of his project God would then create a cataclysmic event such as a flood to erase any damage that had been done after eliminating his adversaries from this realm? That Atlantis might have been a real place - the home to these beings. That in flooding the Earth depicted in the Biblical stories of Noah and his Ark would serve to remove all psychical evidence of these beings in an attempt to get the earth back on course. We are all aware that there are areas of our own planet so buried under water that we have no access to them and very little knowledge about their contents.
Then the world goes on for thousands of years, progressing slowly in technology and advancing at a rate normal for our species without incident as we flash forward to the late 1950's. The reports of Aliens landing on the planet. The creation of Area 51.
It is at this point in our existence that we go from technology advancing at the pace of a snail to that of a cheetah. We go from black and white television to broad casting pictures from the far depths of space in the time span of less then 50 years. When prior our advancement had been minimal at best over hundreds of thousands of years.
If we hold true to the concept that God created us in his image to find out the roots of his own origin and we couple that with the reports of Alien abduction as well as the prior evidence - Is it so hard to believe that both the religious views of God as well as some of the scientific concepts of our creation aren't in fact one and the same?
If God created us to be like him/her/it - is is so hard to believe that God would have a vested interest in us as a collective, in our well being, care and maintenance? Is it also such a far stretch that our own concepts of science would be so far from that of our creator(s)? If we are doing an experiment we monitor it's progression. Sometimes from a distant level based on desired results and sometimes with physical analysis which requires us to be present and to interact with our test subject.
We are electro-chemical beings. Even the concept of a spirit can be assimilated to the knowledge that energy can not be created or destroyed it merely changes form. What if just as there is on earth an energy source from which all souls or (energy forces) come from. It is so described in Jewish mysticism as "The Guff of Souls" also depicted in the movie The Seventh Sign. If we do in fact have a source of energy that gives each one of us life the concept of ghosts, reincarnation, past lives, heaven and, hell as well as the concept of life after our earthly existence is probable. What if the determination of the transformation of our energy is based on the chemical reactions and actions our bodies produce during our time here? What if just as we have control in our lives here - once we die our beliefs, actions and, desires dictate what our energy transforms into?
I chose to take human experience as evidence when making a basis for my own decisions about my creator. When you look at not just religion or science but at the history of human experiences as a whole, a lot of different aspects of our lives have common threading that intertwines across all boarders.
And so far in my short time here I believe that religion is the corset to the soul, that it was created by earthly leaders to control the masses. The concept of be good now and get a reward when you die just sounds like one of those email scams from South Africa. Just a little to good to be true and not something I am willing to buy into. I am also saddened by the fact that religious beliefs have killed more people through out history then any other reason for war combined. But it does not negate the thought that I do believe that some greater being created me or that even though I am very much an ant upon this spinning rock to most, that occasionally I am a blip on God's radar. That I couldn't possibly know all there is to know about life and/or death.
But that is me, those are my thoughts, I am an individual and how I find God is different from the way the other 8 billion people on this earth do. Many people need religion, they need the sense of structure it provides as well as the community. Yet many other people need the comfort and security of tangible evidence in order to place their trust in any thing. It is this individuality that makes us amazing creatures.
Ghandi said it best, "God is an elephant in a dark room, a Jew may touch his tusk and say that God is hard and smooth, a Buddhist may touch his skin and argue that he is rough and dry and yet a Christian his tail and tell the others God is soft and fluffy. They will sit around this room and dispute that they are right and the others are wrong when in fact it would be more prudent to celebrate the fact that despite the darkness, they each found God, all in their own way."
However one thing we should focus on is that we have all been given the gift of life. If there is a greater being responsible, big bang, or even if it is just our parents who are the reason we are here we should be thankful for that blessing and the opportunities it provides us all.
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